Book Review: But Everyone Feels This Way by Paige Layle *ARC
“You don’t only have a disorder when you are having a Not Good Time; you have it all the time.”
Title: But Everyone Feels This Way
Author: Paige Layle
Series? N/A
My Rating: ★★★★
Genre(s): Nonfiction, Memoir
Age Range: Young Adult/New Adult/Adult
Publication: 26 March 2024 (Hachette Go)
CW: Suicidal thoughts, ableism, mental illness
Thank you to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader’s copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
Happy Publication Day, But Everyone Feels This Way!
As we head into World Autism Month in April, with the official World Autism Awareness Day on April 2, there is no better time than the present to review this important memoir. But Everyone Feels This Way was written by Paige Layle, an activist and influencer who sheds on what life is like as an adult autistic woman.
You might recognize Paige Layle from TikTok. Since the muddled days of the pandemic, Paige has been posting short videos to the “For You Page” where she advocates for disability awareness and educates viewers by drawing upon her own experiences as an autistic female.
Her book, But Everyone Feels This Way, expands on her digital platform by incorporating accessible learning opportunities with her lived experience growing up with autism. She recounts her early years, her challenges with mental illness, her autism diagnosis, and most importantly, the way the world and her perspective of it changed upon receiving her diagnosis.
Paige and I are like—in many ways.
As a neurodivergent myself, I recognize the importance of #OwnVoices literature that reflects the lived experiences of any individual with a disability. Even more so as a woman with these experiences. When I was diagnosed with ADHD in my twenties, it was, as Paige Layle puts it, Not A Good Time.
There is so much information and frankly misogyny pervading the understanding of disabilities as they pertain to AFAB individuals. Paige Layle put so perfectly into words what it’s like when you don’t look like you have a disability—according to neurotypical standards, of course.
As her story progressed, I really resonated with Paige Layle’s experiences. Particularly because Paige and I both attended McMaster University and we both dropped out after our first year. While I ultimately returned under very different circumstances, Paige Layle chose not to return to formal education.
During our time there, we both dealt with the Student Accessibility Services (SAS). To say I was disappointed by my experiences with SAS is… an understatement. It goes to show how difficult it is to exist in neurotypical spaces as a neurodivergent and how common these perspectives are.
Paige’s story is incredibly important and timely.
More and more, society is becoming educated about disabilities. In fact, according to Statistics Canada, young people were diagnosed 7% more in 2022 than they were in 2017, while the working-age population was diagnosed 4% more.
While some may wrongly attribute this to a cavalier nature about diagnoses, anyone who has actually fought for a diagnosis knows how incredibly difficult and problematic the system is.
The key to increased accessibility of diagnoses and proper accommodations is, of course, awareness. Books like But Everyone Feels This Way help. However, Paige’s story is not just for those who create the systems; it is also for those who live within them.
Her book is informative for those who are less educated on autism or those who are trying to better understand the experiences of a loved one, like a family member, partner, or friend. Most importantly, autistic readers can see themselves in Paige’s story and feel represented.
Representation is absolutely crucial in literature, whether it be fiction or nonfiction. Paige’s memoir is beautifully written, raw and authentic. I would recommend it to anyone within my network, whether online or in-person, because I really did enjoy it that much and believe that it is crucial reading. TL;DR: Go read this book!!!
Paige Layle’s memoir is educational and emotional; a must-read for understanding disability in the modern age.
Synopsis: Autism acceptance activist and TikTok influencer Paige Layle shares her deeply personal journey to diagnosis and living life autistically.
“For far too long, I was told I was just like everyone else. But as much as everyone tried to convince me, I knew it couldn’t be true. Living just seemed so much harder for me. Whilst the people around me seemed to have no problem being calm and happy, I had panic attacks multiple times a day, where my hyperventilating made my legs numb and sometimes I lost consciousness. This wasn’t okay. This wasn’t normal. This wasn’t functioning. And it certainly wasn’t fine.”
Paige Layle was normal. She lived in the countryside with her mom, dad, and brother Graham. She went to school, hung out with friends, and all the while everything seemed so much harder than it needed to be. A break in routine threw off the whole day. If her teacher couldn't answer "why" in class, she dissolved into tears, unable to articulate her own confusion or explain her lack of control.
But Paige was normal. She smiled in photos, picked her feet up when her mom needed to vacuum instead of fleeing the room, and received high grades. She was popular and well-liked. And until she had a full mental breakdown, no one believed her when she claimed that she was not okay.
In But Everyone Feels This Way Paige Layle shares her story as an autistic woman diagnosed late. Armed with the phrase “Autism Spectrum Disorder” (ASD), Paige challenges stigmas, taboos, and stereotypes while learning how to live her authentic, autistic life.
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